1. Send a reporter to a gas station.
2. Have the camera man zoom over reporter’s shoulder to show outrageous price on marquee.
3. Listen to reporter remind us, with all of the same reasons, why this is happening.
4. Listen to reporter interview Joe Blow at the gas pump.
5. Listen to Joe Blow give oppressive story: “I was gonna go to our family reunion in Alabama this year, but I’m just not gonna be able to afford it, I don’t think.”

And of course on the National level we get another hard-nosed Matt Lauer interview where he talks to another Big Oil CEO. The same lame excuses peppered with corp-speak are piped through the airwaves into our living rooms. I can hear the producers now. “Who shall we have on next week? Maybe someone from Love’s Truck Stop? Yeah, that’s the ticket! We’ll talk about DIESEL next week to switch it up a bit.”

This is equivalent to news stories in January about ‘the cold’.

Channel 4 in Detroit ends their daily story on gas by posting ONE station with the lowest gas price – in all of Detroit’s 138.8 square miles. Of course this only helps viewers who:

1. Are watching Channel 4 that morning during the six seconds it airs. (’cause the price ain’t gonna be the same tomorrow folks!)
2. Live close enough to that one gas station to make it worth the trip to fill up.
3. Have enough time to wait in line behind everyone who falls under points 1 and 2.

I got an idea. Why don’t we talk about how the average length of grass is going up this summer because it costs too much to mow.

If you don’t realize that gas prices suck large petroleum nut sacks, then reward yourself by moving under a new rock!

This is not news. I pass three filling stations on my way home and do not need anchor people waisting my time with what I already know.