geakz.com » Blog Archive » Fridgid Temps Close Schools

»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«

Fridgid Temps Close Schools

January 17th, 2009 by Geaked

It got so cold they closed the schools.

Detroit’s WJR News/Talk Radio had the fastidious task of reading the excruciatingly long list of educational facilities (a majority of the 194 Public and 92 Private schools) that would close their doors to the delight of kiddies everywhere due to record sub-zero temps. This list was so long that it took not one, but TWO newscasters to read it from beginning to end.

I have a 20 minute ride into work. This list was read twice on my commute. My question: Why can’t they read the SHORT list of schools that are OPEN? For instance…

“Detroit schools that WILL be open today are: The Lady of The Masochist, Snowbound Elementary, Frozen Snots Pre-school and Freezling High. All others are closed.”

See how much simpler?

4 Responses

Kathy writes:
January 18th, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Brilliant and hilarious. I'm sure there's some ridiculous legal reason why they need to read the ones that are closed, because you know the news stations would much rather spend that time filled with ads.

Reply
Geakz writes:
January 19th, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Hi Kathy. You're probably right with the legal reason angle. Although I think it would be great to work in radio, reading the school closing list would drive me over the edge.

Reply
Joanna writes:
January 26th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Because every kid is sitting there listening for the name of his school to be read, so he can jump around and scream.

Reply
Geakz writes:
January 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Joanna. You bring the all important school-kids view to the table here. Your comment took me back to when we relied on the local radio station to list the school names – in alphabetical order – that would deliver us from our oppressors (read:gym teachers) for the day. I guess not much has changed. The difference for me between now and then is approximately 200 schools, plus the fact WJR was not reading the BUSINESSES that would be closed list.

Reply