While ordering a Classic Italian sub at the local pizza joint, the young girl across the counter asked me, “Everything on it?”
I paused to consider and replied, “No mayonnaise.” Of which I was met with a befuddled stare. She made no move to key in my request. This made me wonder if the sandwich even came with mayo to begin with. I was second guessing my innate ability to order a simple lunch item.
I was the first to break the silence with, “Does it even come with mayonnaise?”
She covered her mouth to mute her laughter and shared her confession of, “I thought you said ‘No Panties’”.
Yikes. Do I really look that much like a pervert?
Don’t answer that.
On a healthier food note…
Before eating my apple at the office this afternoon I did what most American apple eaters do and gave it a good polishing. Of course I’m wearing short sleeves, so my pant leg was the next obvious choice. Sitting behind my desk, I glanced up – mid polishing – to catch a coworker passing my doorway. It was evident from their face, that they COULD NOT SEE MY HAND nor the APPLE. Only the ‘act of polishing’. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
